This is it, poeple-- The Big Day.
- What big day? - What is he talking?
- Pops? - Today's my dad's birthday.
Oh, yeah. I remember that.
Seriously? Does no one read the e-mails I send out?
Yeah, but it was just offers and stuff.
Anyway, everybody knows that Mr. Maellard loves surprises,
but they also know that he's impossible to surprise.
It must be from his time in the war.
He said he always slept with his eyes open.
That's why I've come up with the perfect plan.
Fake surprise.
See, it'll go down like this.
- Maellard will show up like... - Hiya, Benson.
I'm here to pick up Pops for my birthday dinner.
And I'm gonna be all... What? I didn't know it was your birthday.
That's when I'll take him to the snack bar, where--
fake surprise.
He'll be so thrown off by it, he won't suspect a thing when I take him to the real party.
Wow, Benson. That was the perfect surprise.
Here's $1 million.
Gee! Thanks, Mr. Maellard.
You know, it was nothing, really.
So, yeah, that's how we're gonna do it.
Oh, that plan sounds wonderful, Benson!
All right, time for your assignments.
Skips, set up the table.
Muscle man and Hi Five Ghost, go buy balloons.
Mordecai and Rigby, you're picking up the cake.
- Really?! - Yep, it's prepaid and everything.
All you have to do is pick it up,
just give them the receipt and bring the cake back.
That's it.
♪ Pickin' up the cake, pickin' up the cake ♪
♪ Pickin' up the cake, gonna do it great ♪
Just pick up the cake and try not to ruin my big day.
- I thought it was Maellard's day. - Just pick up the cake!
Man, this place is packed!
Why does everyone need a cake so bad?
Dude, check it out.
This cake Benson ordered is crazy expensive.
$130?!
Yeah, Benson's really going all out.
Hey, Mordecai, check out that line. Nobody's in it.
It says, "prepaid," so, yeah-- let's do it.
I got my cake. I got my cake!
Excuse me, I'm here to pick up a cake.
Oh, if you have a prepaid receipt, I can get that for you.
Yeah, we do!
Okay, it'll be just a minute.
Excuse me! I was here before they were.
Sorry, ma'am, but prepaid customers take priority.
Hey, you two!
That's right, I'm talking to you bozos, you just cut the line!
Get back here and take a number like everybody else!
We didn't cut in line, this is the prepaid line.
That's a fine excuse-- for a bunch of line cutters!
Look, we didn't cut, okay?!
This is separate line for people with prepaid receipts.
- But-- - All right, here you go.
Also, you guys get our last free cake pastries.
This is ridiculous! I've been here longer than anybody!
I'm sorry, ma'am, but the sign says
prepaid customers get tended to first,
so maybe you should learn how to read.
Okay, thanks for the cake, bye!
Hey, I'd say this job was a piece of cake.
Aw, yeah, it was!
Hand me one of them victory pastries.
Aw, man, did you eat both of them?
Sorry! The second one just fell in my mouth!
You're the worst.
What the...?
Line cutters! Line cutters gonna get cut!
She's got a cake cutter! Let's get out of here!
Time to shake this cake witch!
Wait! What does that say?!
I wish I could read!
Road cake!
- Road cake! - Road cake!
Time for the meeting with accounting.
If we're late, Tokyo will drop the deal!
Come on!
Oh, boy.
Hello, Mr. Maellard.
Where's Pops? We're gonna be late to my birthday dinner.
Birthday? It's your birthday today?
Yes. And I'm sure you don't have anything planned.
Of course, how could I?
I only just now found out about it-- just now!
But you know what? I think Pops is at the snack bar.
Let me take you there.
Let's go see "Pops at the snack bar."
Right this way.
I'm taking Papa Eagle out to the field.
We'll be back at the nest shortly. Do you copy?
Who's the eagle again?
Maellard is the eagle, it was in the e-mail!
Okay. So I get that you don't have enough money for a new cake,
but you really don't know how to make one?
Isn't it, like one of your food groups?
Hey, less judgy, more cakey!
There's not a lot of time, can you help us or not?
Does angel food cake cool upside down?
Yes, the answer is "yes."
You guys are awesome!
This is even better than the cake Benson bought!
He should be paying us!
Come on, let's get this outside.
Eileen, what did you do?! It doesn't fit out the door!
Hey, I can't do the math if I don't have the whole equation.
I'm taking Papa Eagle out to the field.
We'll be back at the nest shortly. Do you copy?
Who's the eagle again?
Maellard is the eagle, it was in the e-mail!
He knows I don't do e-mail.
Where are Mordecai and Rigby?
They should have brought the cake by now.
Let's go find 'em.
Oh, there you are!
What's the holdup, bros?
It's not our fault! The cake won't go outside!
How'd it get inside?
That's not important!
Look, we just need to get it outside before Benson shows up with Mr. Maellard.
Does anyone have any ideas?
Way to go, dudes. You really messed up big.
Yeah, Benson's gonna be really bummed out.
If only there was a way to-- outside cake!
I might have something, then!
Here it is!
- What is it? - It's my Handy Home Matter Mover.
I got it in the 1950s.
Gather 'round! Gather 'round!
What you see before you will revolutionize how you move things!
Let me introduce the Handy Home Matter Mover!
Oh, my!
Does this sound familiar?
Say the missus wants to put a vase of flowers on the dining-room table,
But she has her hands full with the kids.
Well, all you have to do is key in the coordinates,
aim, and hit the switch!
I'll take it!
A teleporter?! It's perfect!
Well, I don't see Pops out here.
Are you sure?
Maybe you should check behind the counter.
Surprise!
My! That was a good one.
Right? And you thought I forgot your birthday.
Well, it's certainly thoughtful of you to come up with this one surprise for me.
It's no trouble, one surprise is the least I can do.
Let's head back to the house for Pops.
Yes, I'm sure Pops is very lonely, waiting all by himself.
Wait for me!
- Are you sure this will work? - It looks really old.
Okay, I think I got it.
Papa Eagle is coming to the roost, get the eggs ready!
Come on! Come on!
Hurry up, bro!
I expect that everyone's ready to crack the eggs.
Sorry for all the work calls,
but we've got a real eagle problem at the moment.
But anyway, I'm sure Pops is somewhere around here.
I'm sure he is.
Surpri--
Can you wait here?
I think I almost got it.
Oh, there you guys are.
Did I not make myself perfectly clear?!
Papa Eagle is out there and no cake and no guests!
What part of "surprise party" do you not understand?!
It'll be fine! We just had a few setbacks.
- There was this angry woman... - And these shaggy-looking business guys...
But C.J. and Eileen helped us make this better cake.
It just a little too big to get out the door.
- But now we got this teleporter, so-- - Are you kidding me?!
I've got this whole surprise party planned out,
and now there's no surprise!
- But the teleporter-- - Forget the teleporter!
No! We can still save the party!
This is how they throw a birthday party?!
There's no one here!
This is how they treat me, after all I've done for them?
It's lonely at the top.
♪ Lakme - Flower Duet
Surprise!
Papa is so surprised, he doesn't know what to say!
That was the best birthday surprise of my life!
Where am I?
You're in the hospital.
You've been in a coma for three weeks.
Sir, I can't tell you how sorry I am, I just--
What do you have to be sorry about? I've always wanted to be in a coma.
I'm impressed, you figure out what to get the man that has everything.
This birthday really takes the cake.
So, who's up for cards at my house tonight?
Can't. Me and Fives are taking our ladies to see some Mexican wrestling.
Mucho romantico.
Audrey and I are going to a jazz concert.
I got plans with Eileen.
Friend plans.
She wants to show me her new rock polisher.
You know who else likes to polish people's rocks?
Mordecai?
Aw, I would, but C.J. and I are going to a laser light show tonight.
But you can totally come with us.
Ah, no. That's okay.
I got some other guys coming over.
In fact, I better get going.
Uh, have fun, everyone.
All right. See ya.
Baby, I don't know where I'd be today if I hadn't met you.
Probably home alone
watching a romantic comedy in the dark.
How was the laser show?
Did you put your arm around C.J.?
Did you put your arm around Eileen's rock polisher?
Stop talking!
Wait. Skips?
You okay, man?
Yeah.
No! I've been skipping a solo for too long now.
I need to start dating again.
Skips, geting back in the saddle!
I guess. It's been so long.
I don't even know where to start.
Ah, it can't be that bad. How long's it been?
Two hundred years.
Well, better now than never. You just got to get out there.
What you need are some wingmen.
Wingmen?
You know-- your co-pilots, your bros,
the ones who got your back while you're looking for ladies.
It's me. I need some wingmen.
I've been waiting two hundred years to hear you say that.
So, uh, what happens now?
Do we just sit here and wait till they come talk to us?
Waiting doesn't get you the ladies, Skips.
Watch and learn.
Excuse me, ladies. Perhaps you could settle a bet.
Which one of us do you think is older?
I don't know.
Neither. We're both immortal.
Plus we're magic.
Ooh. Check it out.
Fly honeys giving us eye contact.
Excuse me. Are you a parking ticket?
'Cause you got " Fine" written all over you.
We are fine.
Hey, that's a nice outfit you have on there.
Uh, yeah. Uh, I like it a lot.
What do you like about it?
Oh, uh, it looks comfortable,
well, like , uh... like my friend's diaper.
My dress looks like a diaper?!
He just said I'm wearing a diaper!
We'll try again next week, Skips.
Who wants to see a supernova?
And by the way, it's not a diaper,
They're adult diapers!
There's a difference!
Hey, Skips.
Meet any fine females tonight?
I'm just not cut out for the whole club scene.
Dude, nobody meets anybody at clubs anymore.
Yeah, there are an option for people like you who make terrible first impressions.
The Internet!
Well, we got to fill in your profile.
- Profession? - Park groundskeeper.
Ah, ah, ah. Environmental technologist.
- Hobbies? - I'm good at fixing stuff.
Mechanical whiz who can fix anything--
Busted engines, broken hearts, whatever you got.
You've traveled all over the world. Girls like a guy who's cultured.
Fought monsters with a ninja sword, arm-wrestled death,
And, also, you love kittens, to show your softer side.
And... down.
Now what do we do?
Sit back and let the ladies come to you.
How long's it gonna take?
I don't know. It could be a while.
Whoa! Look at that! You've already got 85,000 views!
Dude, you're on the front page of the website!
Based on your top-rated profile,
You've been selected to be a contestant on the hit dating show " It's a date! "
What?!
Aw, man, you'll meet someone now for sure!
Up high!
I can't go on the dating show.
I'm not that kind of guy.
Would you rather be the kind of guy
who spends the next 200 years shuffling his cards?
Looking good, Skips!
I don't know. These pants are a little tight.
You want to look cool, right?
Yes.
It's getting late.
We got to get you prepped for the questions on the show tonight.
What questions?
Dude, the ladies ask you questions,
and you impress them with your slick responses.
Here. Let's run through a practice round.
If you were trapped on a desert island with just one thing,
what would it be?
Boom! Go.
That's easy. Fresh water.
Wrong! You got to say something cool, like...
"All I need is your deep blue eyes to look into."
Cheese it up! Make 'em laugh. It's not hard.
How do you know?
'Cause I've seen every episode of "It's A Date!"
What?! I've had a lot of sapre time since Mrodecai started dating C.J.
If you're so good at this, why don't you do it?
I would if I could.
So, you admit that you can't.
No! It's just that I don't have the right look or whatever,
which has nothing to do with me being cool with my words.
Well, I'm not a word guy, okay?!
I got an idea.
Welcome to "It's A Date!"
Let's give it up for your host, Bob Karpett!
Thank you. Thank you.
Let's give a big, warm welcome to our bachelorette, Sheena Albright!
Sheena is a molecular biologist
who loves tennis, Italian cuisine, and sloths.
Now it's time to meet our three eligible bachelors!
Bachelor Number 1 is a hip-hop enthusiast.
Please welcome Jimmy Jamzz!
Yo, yo, yo! What's peepin', Sheena?
Yo!
Bachelor Number 2 runs his own T-shirt business.
Say hello to the T-shirt man.
Buy my T-shirts!
And Bachelor Number 3 is a ventriloquist.
Say hello to Skips and his dummy, Lil' Rigs!
Hey! What's shakin', dollface?
Hold on tight, strap yourself in,
'Cause a date with me will make your head spin!
All right, Sheena.
It's time for your first question for our bachelors.
"If we went out on a date, where would you take me?"
Bachelor Number 1.
Girl, I'd take you to the hoppingest dance club in town,
'cause Jimmy Jamzz is all about bustin' killer moves, girl!
Oh, yeah, dawg!
Okay.
Bachelor Number 2?
I would take you to a fine-dining establishment
and then show you my lastest line of T-shirts!
Bachelor Number 3?
Uh... go out for a nice meal?
And go to the planetarium,
'cause you surely belong with the other heavenly bodies.
Next question...
"What is your biggest dream in life?"
Bachelor Number 1.
Girl, I'm already living my dream!
I've been regional hip-hop dance champion nice times in a row, player!
Shout-out to my four-legged crew!
Bachelor Number 2?
My dream is to sell my T-shirt in all stores nationwide--
That and move out of my mama's basement.
Bachelor Number 3?
Uh, well, uh, save up for retirement.
Geez, Gramps! You're not read yet!
But judging by your stage presence, you might as well be!
But, seriously, Sheena,
my only dream is to make each day with you better than the last.
Why, thank you, Bachelor Number 3.
Oh, come on! That's the worst pickup line I ever heard!
The only thing you should pick up is a pair of scissors
and cut off that lame mullet!
- Rigby! - Hey, the audience loves me.
Wish I could say the same for these two dummies.
You calling me a dummy, dummy?
No, but you know who is calling you is your mom.
She wants your rent check, fool.
I've had enough of your lip, son!
Playtime's over!
Yo! I just "cen-tore" it up!
Eat T-shirt!
Let's teach this punk some manners.
That's enough!
Look out!
You okay?
Look, everyone, I'm not a ventriloquist.
And this isn't a dummy.
The truth is I'm just a simple guy who works at a park,
a quiet guy who wants to meet a nice girl--
someone I can spend time with and talk to and...
doesn't mind that I like to go commando.
Anyway, I'm sorry I wasted everybody's time.
Wait!
I choose Bachelor Number 3!
It's a date!
Sheena and Skips, you two win an all-expenses-paid trip to Costa Rica!
Keep the change.
Skips! Skips! Skips!
How was Costa Rica with your Chica?!
Well, uh...
She was too high-maintenance,
but I'm back in the saddle.
Thanks, guys.
Nice. Nice.